Oh no! It’s Sunday morning and the worship leader told everyone to turn and greet someone standing next to them! Doesn’t he know you’re an introvert and human interaction just isn’t your thing? How could they do this to you? Don’t worry fam—we here at The Babylon Bee are experts in avoiding church greeting time.
Here’s everything you need to know to avoid the dreaded ritual: Skip showering: This is an easy one. Simply avoid bathing or doing laundry all week and no one will approach you! Oh wait—the extroverted person sitting next to you didn’t shower either! You’re doomed! Sneeze in all directions without covering your mouth: Much more effective now that you don’t have to wear a mask.
